Sunday, October 21, 2012
My Thirty-day Retreat – Conclusion
Dear Friends,
This is the last part of my thirty-day retreat. A good number have written to me about how these passages from my retreat have touched them. I asked you all now to pray for what Jesus wants: namely, the beginning of the Contemplative Brothers of Jesus and the Contemplative Sisters of Jesus. He is the one as you saw during the last weeks of the retreat who asked me to start these two religious congregations. My spiritual director agreed that I was given an important task by Our Lord. I pray that I may be able to do what the Lord asked of me.
Father Melvin
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21st May 1990 – This morning we are asked to write a few words on this topic: What has been for me the experience of the retreat? The experience of the 30 day retreat has been for me a very deep and personal relationship with the Suffering Jesus. The Risen Lord also played a major role at the end of the retreat. The first 13 days was spent in close union with Jesus in His Agony, Passion and Death. He shared with me in a real way all the sufferings He underwent during the Paschal Mystery. This grace over such a long time was for me the transformation, the conversion of my whole life. Through this experience which was painful at times, Jesus made His Redemption so personal to me and showed me such great love. It was as if He had just died for me to re-create me and to forge a deep relationship with me. Jesus underwent His Passion, Death and Resurrection in my very being so that I could feel what He felt, suffer what He suffered, feel sorrow and abandonment as He did, and undergo all this out of love for me and the people of the whole world. I also felt this great thirst for the salvation of the world. After the resurrection I felt great joy to be with the Risen Lord. I heard His Call to follow Him, to offer myself completely to Him. He confirmed the call to found the Society, which He had asked for through a special inspiration 13 years ago. He said it was time to begin. This new Society is to be an instrument in His hands for the salvation of many. He asked me to found this Society although I feel so limited and poor. He asked me to work intimately with Him and with the Church. He wants this new Family to see the light of day soon. I know that this idea is not mine but the Lord’s. He is the one who wants this New Society, for He has taken the initiative. I submit myself to Him, wishing only to do His will. I know now that I can approach my Superiors with a clear vision, and to do the will of God. I realize that this is a very great undertaking, which calls for much suffering and holy patience. I know how poor I am, yet my prayer is: Not my will but Thine be done. I have complete confidence in God. I hear in me the great cry from the Cross: “I thirst” of Jesus, His great desire to redeem all the peoples of the world.
22nd May 1990 – Today I said Good-bye to Jerusalem, and flew to Rome. I will stay at the Missionaries of Africa Generalate for a few days. I was able to see the Superior General who encouraged me, but said I cannot begin till I have a Bishop who is ready to allow me to begin.
Fr. Melvin Doucette