Wednesday, October 17, 2012
My Thirty-day Retreat – Part 8
Dear Friends,
Here is another part of my thirty-day retreat I had in Jerusalem. This was the most special retreat I ever had. I was so closely united to Jesus every day in the long periods of meditation or contemplation. Here then is three more days.
Father Melvin.
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9th May 1990 – In the first period of prayer I took the text: Acts 4, 1-31: Peter and John before the Sanhedrin. The two Apostles bore witness to Christ in front of the highest Jewish Tribunal in the land, and they were not afraid. They were bold enough to accuse them of killing Christ by saying: “Jesus Christ, the Nazarene, the one you crucified.” When they were forbidden to teach in the name of Jesus they said, “You must judge whether in God’s eyes, it is right to listen to you and not to God.” They continued “We cannot promise to stop proclaiming what we have seen and heard.” They showed that they were not afraid of suffering, threats, imprisonment or even death. The Church in Zambia has also suffered. Fr. Davoli was hauled before the Ministry of Home Affairs, the police, etc. and accused of fomenting dissent against the Government. We also have the problem of Scientific Socialism. Some priests were called to the Governor’s office. The people are suffering very much because of the economic situation in the country. Yet there is joy because of the celebration of the 100 years of Christianity. The first missionaries arrived in 1891.
In the second period of prayer I took as text Acts 4, 32 – 37. Great joy filled my heart during this meditation. I saw that the Christians of old were united mind and heart, and had everything in common. It is the Holy Spirit who gives the gift of self-control. I beg for the grace from the Lord. Jesus spoke to me for a long time about the problem of money in the new Society. He said, “The text of Acts 4, 32-37 is very important for the new Society. The members will take all the three vows, once they have understood very well their meaning. As for poverty they are to live poor close to the people but the vow is not against having a little pocket money. When they enter as postulants, they should have some money to buy what is needed. It is only after their vows that the society will provide them with the necessary clothes, etc. The money of each one is to be given to the Society, just like the early Christians. All must be of one heart and one mind concerning money if peace is to reign among the members. All members must be treated the same whether they come from Europe, Africa, America or Asia.”
At 8:15 p.m. we all went to Gethsemane for a full hour of silent prayer. We gathered in the Church of all Nations, and I with a few others managed to enter the sanctuary which is built on the very stone on which Jesus sweated blood at His Agony. I spent the full hour kneeling on this very stone. It was an hour of close union with Jesus and He told me that today was the climax of my retreat. Tonight He said, “You are liberated from all the enslavements of your life. You are completely free.” Jesus also explained to me the meaning of the sharing in His Passion for 14 days. He said that it was in order to be totally liberated, totally free. The fear and shyness I felt is completely gone. Tonight Jesus renews the call He has given me. He said, “Melvin, tonight I renew the charge and the gifts I gave you. I renew your appointment as Founder of the Society of the Brothers and Sisters of Jesus, I renew the special union between us, I renew the gift of Healing, the gift of Knowledge from the Father, and all the graces I gave you.” I thanked Him very much for all His gifts and favours.
10th May 1990 – This morning during my prayer Jesus spoke a long time concerning celibacy or virginity. He said, “Great attention is needed concerning this matter of celibacy. As you well know the sexual instinct in man is very strong for obvious reasons and it is normal for men to marry and have children. Yet those I call to follow me in the celibate life; receive from me the gift of self-control in sexual matters. However, all have to be well tested for a long period (two or more years) to find out if they have this mastery of their sexual instinct. If not no compromise is possible. They are to be asked to leave and to establish a family. During their training they will be taught the Christian view of sex (that it is only legitimate in marriage), the wonderful gift it is, and how it operates, and the misuse of this God-given faculty. There are grave sins with regards to its misuse, and there are also ways to avoid them. Precautions have to be laid down for the members to follow as regards the opposite sex, reading material, the viewing of pictures, use of suggestive language, etc. All must be open with their spiritual director with regard to sexual matters. They will have sexual desires, and this is normal, but what is important is how they cope with them. It is important to know how much control they have over them. Manual work and sports are important here, to use up the extra energy.”
During my second meditation I took the text: Acts 5, 1 – 11, the sad story of Ananias and Sapphira. Such a terrible shock this was to the early community of the Church. Jesus commented on this true story by saying, “Don’t be surprised that scandal and public sin will show themselves at times among the members of the Society. Satan will do everything he can to destroy it. So, a Brother might abscond with a girl one day, or you hear that a brother has a child somewhere. One day a brother might arrive at the monastery completely drunk, or another sneaks out during the night to go to the village, or another disappears with the money of the monastery. Think of me when Judas betrayed me–what hurt did I feel. In your case you must do everything to avoid such things to happen, by discerning very well the vocations of the candidates that present themselves. One has to be alert when accepting candidates, and any doubtful cases must be rejected. I will give you the gift of discerning vocations so that you know the ones I call to the Society. The time of postulancy and Novitiate is the time of testing and observing, if indeed those candidates are called and if they have the right disposition to live the call.”
To begin the third meditation I read the passage: Acts 6, 1 – 7: the institution of the diaconate. Seven deacons were chosen for this service. I saw how marvelously, the Holy Spirit works and provides for His Church. In conversation with Jesus He said, “It will be the same with the members of the Society; great holiness will be seen. Candidates will become full of the Holy Spirit and zeal, and they will give themselves completely for the advancement of the Church. You will have to be models of holiness, and be constant in prayer, work, teaching and in loving all the members. I must shine through you all. Put across to them the spirit of the Society, where all the members are equal, and all united together in a strong bond of love, with a strong attachment to me. All this will be in view of bringing all peoples to know and love me. “During the last period of prayer, I simply asked Jesus to show me which way I should go. Tomorrow is the day of election to find out what the Lord wants me to do. I ask that He make His will known to me. So, tonight I prayed that He turn His face to me, His little brother who, in fact, deserves nothing because of His sinfulness. I am unworthy of all the graces given to me by the Lord, yet I throw myself in His arms in all humility, that He may show me just a little the direction I should take in my life. What path does He want me to follow in the future?
11th May 1990 – Today has been very special as there are no formal periods of prayer but instead it is a day of review–a review of the whole retreat up till now to see what Jesus has been telling me, and to come to any decision for the future. Jesus has been instructing me concerning this New Society He wants to start. What I want is what Jesus wants. I am completely in His hands. I offered myself completely to Him to do His will. He has made it known to me that He wants me back in Zambia after a period of rest at home in Canada. I will dialogue with my Superiors and at the end I will accept what they will propose. Jesus tells me that I should be preoccupied with the Society and its foundation.
This afternoon I spent an hour at Gethsemane, especially in the Church of All Nations. I prayed that I may know the will of God for my future work, while at the same time I placed myself in God’s hands to do His will. The garden of Gethsemane was beautiful because at this time all the flowers are in bloom, especially the roses, and there are many of them in all sorts of colours. I sat on a bench near the enclosed garden just admiring the beauty and the old olive trees.